The Swift-Boating of Navdeep Singh Bains

Harper shouted down by Liberals
Last Updated: Wednesday, February 21, 2007 | 6:05 PM ET
CBC News
Stephen Harper was shouted down with cries of "shame, shame" during question period Wednesday after he raised a media report that said a Liberal MP is the son-in-law of a man police allegedly interviewed in connection with the Air India bombing case.

Ok, let's think about this for a moment. Nowhere did the media report say that Navdeep Singh Bains' father-in-law was actually a suspect, nor did it say anything about Bains himself. So, basically, the story's a complete non-starter. That, of course, did not prevent Harper from passing the following chain of logic on to his drooling sycophants: Bain's father-in-law was interviewed in connection with an act of terrorism, therefore the father-in-law is a terrorist, therefore Bains is probably a terrorist sympathizer, therefore the Liberals like terrorism. It's basically the same thing that's going on in the states with the silly babbling about Barrack HUSSEIN Obama's middle name, and that's doubtless where Harper got the idea.

And of course, he refused to apologize, blaming the Liberals for the fact that he didn't even get to deliver his insult before he was rightly shouted down. What a twerp.

Holding Their Feet to the Fire

Kyoto bill forced through parliament
By ALEXANDER PANETTA

OTTAWA (CP) - The country sailed toward uncharted constitional waters following a vote in the Commons to force the Conservative government to respect Canada's commitments under the Kyoto accord.

The three opposition parties overpowered the minority government in adopting legislation that - upon approval by the Senate - gives the Tories just 60 days to table a plan to meet Kyoto's greenhouse-gas targets.

Ok, first of all, a slap upsides the head for c-news. What the hell do you mean "forced through parliament?" The bill was put to a vote, and passed. Yes, it's somewhat unusual for an opposition backbencher's bill to pass, and yes, the Tories tried to have it thrown out on a technicality, but that bill was no more "forced" through than any other bill.

Secondly, in case you were wondering how sincere the Tories' new-found environmentalism is, here you go:

But the government hinted strongly that it would simply ignore the law, and would be prepared to face any resulting lawsuits or even a non-confidence motion that could cause an election.

And now you know.

More Election Thoughts

Surprises: Bad

• Another failed breakthrough by the Greens. I did actually think they were going to find themselves an MP this time, but even their leader didn't come close.
  
  
• On a similar note, the poor performance of the FPNP. Our fledgling native party barely scraped up 1000 votes. I know they weren't running many people, but a few more votes would have been nice.
  
  
• The fact that Ann McClelland didn't get elected. I honestly thought Cardiac Annie, whom I have immense respect for, was going to pull off another one.
  
  

Moving Right Along

And here we have the dreaded Liberal Party.

Well, they're going to get spanked on Monday, probably given a wee timeout to think about their past sins. And what sins are those, you ask? Well, let's begin with a calculated (and successful) attempt to wrest the party away from somebody who wasn't actually doing that bad a job, and then subsequently failing to live up to standards. And unless Ralph Klein rides to their rescue once again, there's going to be some fairly spectacular bloodletting in the Liberal party after this election.

If this party were an animal, it would be: A beached whale.



Position on environmental concerns? Whatever will attract voters.

Attitude towards our friends to the South? Probably better than we think it is.

Percent likelihood that they'll try to repeal gay marriage? 0%

Is Oi! Thump! voting for them? Probably not.

Best of the Summer Whine

And so, after Monday's election, the air in Alberta is once again filled with the sound of conservatives pissing and moaning. Oddly but observantly enough, much of this is directed at our very own Ralph Klein, who is being blamed for much the voting public's reluctance to go blue. Anyway, although we here at Oi! Thump! are not big Liberal supporters, we're even less sympathetic to the conservatives, and do enjoy listening to the gnashing of their teeth, the crying of their children, and the lamentation of their women. It was my idea to do an overview of some of the worst whining, but the volume of material available defeated me, and so I am merely picking the best of the lot, a letter that appeared in today's Calgary Sun. Here it is, with snide annotations:

Once again the East, led by Ontario, has shown it is intolerant of democracy and freedom of discussion.

Ah yes, once again, the "intolerant of democracy" have graphically demonstrated their intolerance by exercising their right to vote. Bastards! And buddy, the Conservatives lost the election because some of their candidates were a little too free in their discussion of certain social issues.

They favour (it would appear) corruption and control. The West merely exists to be plundered by eastern commissars for their benefit.

Why then, do scads of easterners come out here to work, instead of staying back there and growing fat off the fruits of our labours? Because your entire premise is bullshit, that's why. And if you're interested in commissars, check out the provincial tories.

The Liberals and NDP will unleash upon this country a tax and spend policy the likes of which has never been seen or experienced.

Goodness me, I hope so...

The West will be devastated. Easterners will smirk and revel in their mastery. The West faces some challenging questions and options.

The above is the best part of this letter. "Easterners will smirk and revel in their mastery"??!! That's awesome prose, dude (he said, smirking and reveling).

For instance, do we wish our children to be raised to adulthood by state nurseries?

Uh, where did that come from?

The West is emerging both as a political and an economic power. Given the opportunity, we could equal or better some of the world's leading democracies.

Hey wait! I thought you said we existed only to be plundered by commissars! That doesn't sound like a political or economic power. Oh wait, I forgot, you're stupid, whiny, and hypocritical. Carry on, sir.

A better future is possible. This 2004 election has proven it is time to go.

Rick Plesnik

Whaaaah!!! Whaaah!! Those horrible Ontarians won't vote like I tell them to!! Whaaah!! Whaaah! I'm taking my ball and going home!! Well Rick, you can indeed go if you wish; I daresay you won't be missed, and it will make a better future for all of us much more possible. Of course, your words would be that much more profound, and your threat of separation more dire, if we didn't hear them every single fucking time things didn't go exactly the way the Alberta-firsters wanted. Bunch of crybabies, the lot of them...

On with our searing coverage of the upcoming Canadian federal election...

GREEN PARTY OF CANADA

Known for helping George W. Bush get elected in the States (thanks guys!) and for being a viable, mainstream party in pretty much every other democracy that isn't Canada, the Green party is actually looking like they might get a foot in the door here this time. They're environmentalists, in case you were confused. Under the Green Party's benevolent rule...
Canada is to the U.S. as an Ani Difranco fan is to that guy snarfing his second Meatlovers' Breakfast of the day at Denny's.
If you're a woman you're an avatar of the Earth Goddess, and must be treated as such.
Will you, as a minimum wage earner, get health care? Yes, using non-animal-tested medicines and procedures.
Got Decriminalized Marijuana? The Green Party is ever-so-slightly to the right of the Marijuana party on this issue. I mean, we're talking microns here folks.
Gay Marriage? Oh yeah.
Historical Parallel: The Luddites.

LIBERAL PARTY OF CANADA

Here we go. They're big, they're bad, they've been in power far too long for the Conservatives' liking. Paul Martin is currently finding out that having been a successful businessman does not actually cause your feet to grow to the size necessary to fill Jean Chretien's boots. Martin would be having troubling visions of the ghost of John Turner, except that Turner's not dead. Right now...
Canada is to the U.S. as Canada is to the U.S., only with less swearing than there was under Chretien.
If you're a woman please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeze vote for us. I mean, we're begging here...
Will you, as a minimum wage earner, get health care? Yes, and Ralph Klein can go fuck himself.
Got Decriminalized Marijuana? Eventually, once the Supreme Court kicks our asses a bit.
Gay Marriage? See immediately above.
Historical Parallel: Pierre Eliot Trudeau, without any of PET's flair or guts.

LIBERTARIAN PARTY OF CANADA

This party's unofficial motto is "I'm All Right, Jack." Their guiding principle seems to be that nobody should be forced to behave in any kind of vaguely decent and humane manner whatsoever, and that government's job is to sit on its ass and watch the ensuing brutality without doing anything about it. Which is horseshit. They also have the most brutally ugly web page of any of the parties running. If these guys are "running the country"...
Canada is to the U.S. as menh...
If you're a woman Who cares?
Will you, as a minimum wage earner, get health care? Only if you can afford it, which you can't.
Got Decriminalized Marijuana? And how!
Gay Marriage? And how!
Historical Parallel: Some really lazy person.

MARIJUANA PARTY

Guess what these guys want to legalize!! That's right, whaling!! Seriously, it's fairly obvious what this one-issue party's one issue is. So, if Canada goes all mellow after June 28th...
Canada is to the U.S. as a hippy is to a Mississippi State Trooper.
If you're a woman you've got nothing to worry about, glaucoma-wise.
Will you, as a minimum wage earner, get health care? Oh yeah, although you may notice a certain sameness about your prescriptions.
Got Decriminalized Marijuana? Look at the party name and figure it out for yourself.
Gay Marriage? Yes.
Historical Parallel: The Bona Dea cult.

MARXIST-LENINIST PARTY OF CANADA

Playing the People's Front of Judea to the Communist Party's Judean People's Front, these folks neatly split the ultra-left vote, and provoke nasty coffee-house brawls over the writings of Hardial Bains. If they get elected, and once they've shipped the Communist Party off to Nunavut...
Canada is to the U.S. as same as the answer for the Communist party, only more Hardial Bains-y
If you're a woman see above
Will you, as a minimum wage earner, get health care? see above
Got Decriminalized Marijuana? see above
Gay Marriage? see above
Historical Parallel: The Communist Party of Canada

Join us again tomorrow, when we wrap this puppy up!