Random Thoughts on the Events of Yesterday


Insert Obvious Caption Here

• The size of the Tory majority was greater than I'd thought it would be.
• The size of the voter turnout was smaller than expected. These two points may be related.
• The Wildrose Alliance Party got deservedly shut out.
• Craig Chandler did not get elected.
• Rachel Notley did, so virtue, in that small regard, triumphed.
• The Tories may now hold the majority in Edmonton, but they're going to have to work to keep it. Edmonton voters get pissed off fairly easily.
• As Alison has pointed out at Creekside, many Alberta voters will now be represented by very few MLAs. This election was among other things, a scream for some nod to proportional representation.
• The Green Party did very well, doubling their vote from last time out.
• Our riding saw the Liberal incumbent defeated by a Tory newcomer. This isn't too surprising, as our riding has gone back and forth between the two parties over the last few provincial elections.
• Ed Stelmach has been, and will be, a far better premier than Ralph Klein. This does not mean that he has been, or will be, a good premier.
• Alberta is once again the political laughing stock of Canada. This time out, Alberta earned it.
• Oddly enought, Calgary has now has more Liberals in the legislature than Edmonton. That didn't used to happen...
• Edmonton, however, has the only two NDPers.
• Despite having one quarter the number of seats that the Liberals do, the NDP is actually in better shape for the next election. The Liberals have got to pretty much start over, while the NDP already has (and don't underestimate the Notley name being back in their ranks).
• The Wildrose Alliance may go away, but the people involved with it will put something else together to try to lure the lunatic right vote away from the Tories.
• Even with a small number of seats, the opposition should still be able to hold Ed Stelmach's feet to the fire, at least a certain amount of the time.

'Tis Election Day!

So, we're straggling off to the polls today through the remnants of a late-winter/early-spring snowfall. Well, in all likelihood, something less than 50% of registered voters are doing that. It's provincial election day here, and this time, there's actually some interest in what the results are going to be! The Tories will be ecstatic if their majority grows, or at least doesn't shrink too much (except the legion of Tories who hate Ed Stelmach - they're hoping for disaster, but not enough of a disaster to cost them any real power). The Liberals will call it a success if they increase their seat count, and they'll be over the moon if they could actually force the Tories into a minority government. I don't the NDP are going to be happy at all; they're trailing the Liberals in most places, and will be lucky to hang on to what they've got. The Wildrose Alliance thingy will be happy if everybody in the rest of Canada dies. And the Alberta Greens will be pleased if somebody just notices them.

My prediction - Tory majority, again, with perhaps some modest gains by the Liberals. I see the NDP keeping roughly the same number of seats. The Wildrose Alliance folks could double their seat-count, which would give them two (is the era of Link Byfield, MLA, upon us?). The Greens will continue to get no love in this neck of the woods.

A Provincial Election. We Haz It.

Alberta premier calls election
Jason Markusoff and Archie McLean, edmontonjournal.com
Published: Monday, February 04

EDMONTON - And they're off - and they're all in favour of ending health-care premiums.

Conservative Leader Ed Stelmach formally announced a March 3 election this afternoon, hours after his government's throne speech said the Tories would eliminate health care premiums by 2012.

Safe to say, this is not a surprise election call... The Tory candidate in our riding actually showed up on my doorstep on Sunday morning, waving campaign literature (politely accepted) and asking permission to put up a sign (politely declined). He seemed an pleasant chap, but I'm still not voting for him.

Conventional wisdom on this one is that the Conservatives will probably lose some seats, but I don't think anybody really expects them to lose the election. There is the outside possibility that we'll end up with a minority government, but I think even that's a long-shot. Part of the problem is that none of the opposition parties really show much sign of having the ability to make a run at ousting the Tories. Parallels have been drawn between Ed Stelmach and Harry Strom, but I think they overlook the fact that, when the Socreds were finally ousted from government, the man doing the ousting was Peter freakin' Lougheed. Kevin Taft and Brian Mason, while excellent fellows both, are a bit lacking in the charisma department compared to Lougheed.

Much more importantly, though, is that the upcoming provincial election means that it's time for another Oi! Thump! Election Guide! It will begin as soon as I've figured out what form the snark will take this time around!

R.I.P.

So, we lost a good one last week:

Ex-Alberta NDP leader dies
By Jim Macdonald, THE CANADIAN PRESS

EDMONTON - Pam Barrett was a firecracker of Alberta politics who fought for the little guy, never backed away from a scrap and became a respected opponent of her political foes.

The former leader of the Alberta New Democrats died in hospital Monday night after a two-year battle with cancer. She was 54.

I had the great priviledge of meeting Pam Barrett socially, at a party one evening, and she was a most impressive individual. Probably my favourite moment of her career was her forcing Ralph Klein to back away from legislation which would have prevented those mentally handicapped people who were sterilized without their consent or knowledge during the 1960s from suing for compensation. Barrett and the NDP backed the provincial Conservatives down despite being outnumbered, seat-wise, about 20-to-1 (she was actually pretty good friends with Klein, despite their political differences - I wonder what she would have done with Ed Stelmach?).

Pam Barrett will be missed!

Insert Bitching About The Weather Here!

Yes, it is cold here (our little thermometer bottomed out this morning, so at the warmest it was -40). Edmonton Transit, to their eternal credit, has broken out the cold-weather protocols - increased frequency of busses, express routes stopping where they usually don't, etc. However, it's gonna be nasty around here for the next few days. At least the wind has stopped; it was -35 and blowing hard yesterday, and the hour I spent outside clearing wind-packed drifts was not a pleasant time in any way, shape, or form.

Anyway, weather-bitching over, catch-up blogging to follow!

Friday Archaeology Blogging
Close to Home Edition

First off, Happy New Year to everyone!

Now, down to business! We've had archaeological happenings right here in Edmonton over the past few days! The city is in the midst of extending the LRT (that's the subway, in case anyone's wondering, although the current stretch is above ground) into the south side of Edmonton, and the other day the construction crews managed to turn up human remains. These were quickly deemed to be "historical," and the anthropologists have been called in.


Yet unidentified human remains

The city has since decided to do exactly the right thing, and proceed with great care and caution in the area involved:

City halts LRT work
Archeologist called in after human remains unearthed
By ANDREW HANON, SUN MEDIA

Native activists breathed a sigh of relief after the city halted construction on a controversial stretch of the south LRT extension until an archeologist can be hired to supervise the work.

City hall announced the move yesterday, four days after human remains were discovered by excavation crews working near 111 Street and 43 Avenue.

Now, the main question revolves around the identity of the body found. Chances are quite good that is a member of the group of Cree who settled in the area under Chief Papaschase in the 1850s. For awhile, they lived on a reservation of about 40 square miles in what is now the southern section of the City of Edmonton, but, in the later years of the 19th century, a combination of famine and bureaucratic slight-of-hand saw them removed from that land and merged rather abruptly with the Enoch Cree to the west (they were actually treated quite shabbily by various levels of government, and there has been recent litigation over this). Interestingly, one of the major inciters of the removal of the Papaschase Cree was Frank Oliver, one of Edmonton's early movers and shakers, and a man who now has an entire neighbourhood named after him. There is a great deal more information about the Papaschase Cree here.

One other issue has been raised by the discovery of these remains, and it's the problem of what to do when development and archaeology butt heads. Edmonton is not, for example, Rome, where long experience has led to the creation of laws and guidelines that allow development to proceed and archaeology to be done properly. It's a bit tricky; the laws must protect archaeology without tempting the developers to conceal, or worse, destroy archaeological sites (I should point out here that I'm not accusing all developers of being prone to that sort of thing; a recent development near where my father lives in Ontario turned up archaeological remains, and the developer immediately halted work, called in archaeologists, redrew the plans for the development to protect the site, and generally carried on as though he found the archaeological finds far more interesting than he did the construction of his building). No such laws exist in Edmonton, and it would be a good idea for City Council to sit down and draw some up, particularly as this particular Council seems very eager to embark on large construction projects!

The World's Smallest Violin Plays Just For Craig Chandler

Rejected Tory candidate declares Independent run
Last Updated: Monday, December 17, 2007 | 12:42 PM MT
CBC News

Rejected provincial Tory candidate Craig Chandler announced Monday he will run as an Independent in Calgary-Egmont.

Probably inevitable. Chandler, in fact, is bringing along a few of his fellow fundamentalist travellers to run in some other Calgary ridings. This will mean that, in some ridings, there will be essentially FOUR parties hunting for the hard-right vote: the PCs, the Alberta Alliance, the Wildrose Party, and the Chandlerite Front. Can you say "internecine," boys and girls?

Chandler promised to launch a human rights complaint against the Tories, alleging they were intolerant by rejecting his candidacy and religious beliefs.

"I think because I have those views I am being persecuted," he said.

Poor man! Barred from running for office in Calgary-Egmont, this victim of horrid religious persecution has been reduced to, um, running for office in, ah, that would be Calgary-Egmont...

Like all others of his ilk who don't get exactly what they want, Chandler is behaving, in the words of my Grandmother, as though somebody'd actually done something to him.

Provincial Tory Leader in Smart Political Move Shocker

Tories veto candidate's nomination
Calling himself a 'martyr' for the cause, social conservative weighs next move
KATHERINE O'NEILL
December 3, 2007

EDMONTON -- An outspoken social conservative has been denied a chance to run for the Alberta Progressive Conservative party, as the country's oldest reigning political dynasty readies for a tough election expected to be called in the coming months.

Craig Chandler said in an interview yesterday that the rare decision by the Conservatives' executive committee on the weekend to not accept his constituency nomination is undemocratic and makes him a "martyr" for the province's social conservatives.

I have to say that Stelmach's made the right move here, although I was quite looking forward to watching the Tories get mauled by the opposition over the candidacy of Mr. Chandler, a man whose only reason for existence seems to be hatred of a) gays, and b) everybody else who isn't a viciously conservative Albertan (but mostly gays. And other people). Sigh. We will have to get our political theatre elsewhere, is seems, and we wonder who will perform the sacred duty of informing newcomers of their moral obligation to vote Tory?

I'm betting here that Chandler will run in the upcoming provincial election, possibly for the Alberta Alliance.

Worse and Worse...

Dziekanski still alive by the time medical help arrived: RCMP
Last Updated: Saturday, December 1, 2007 | 2:38 PM ET
CBC News

The RCMP and the Richmond B.C. fire department appear to be offering conflicting accounts as to whether Robert Dziekanski was already dead by the time medical help arrived.

Given everything that has happened so far, I'm going to believe the fire department on this one. The officers shown in the video sure didn't seem particularly interested in assessing their victim's condition. The only thing that could make this worse would be to discover that the RCMP had somehow impeded attempts to treat Mr. Dziekanski.

Immediately, a crew initiated a medical assessment and asked police to remove Dziekanski's handcuffs, but the officers refused.

Oh.

Hmmm... This Could Become An Election Issue

So, the good people of Calgary-Egmont have gone ahead and nominated Craig Chandler as Tory candidate in the upcoming provincial election. However, hang on a sec':

Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach says Tory party officials will review the nomination of a candidate who was sanctioned by the Canadian Human Rights Commission for hateful remarks about gays.

I bet it'll be reviewed. If he lets Chandler run for his party, Stelmach is putting a ginormous club in the hand of the Liberals and NDP. However, Chandler can take heart; even if the Tories punt him, I'm sure he'll be able to find somewhere he'll feel welcome (go here for more Oi! Thump!-brand snark about that lot).

Goodbye, Public Sympathy for the RCMP!

Alison at Creekside has taken the big stick to the RCMP over the death-by-taser of Robert Dziekanski at the Vancouver airport (BBC story here).

What a horrendous, awful, event that was, and a systemic failure every step of the way. That nobody at the airport could figure out how to get Mr. Dziekanski and his mother together for six hours. That the victim was left alone and lost for a further four. That there was no attempt to find anybody who could speak Polish. That tasers were used despite the fact that the victim was offering no resistance. That, having been tasered a number of times, Mr. Dziekanski was then jumped upon by about four officers. That the RCMP have followed this up by apparently lying their asses off about the incident.

There's really nothing left to say, is there...

Belated Remembrance Day Post


Ortona

Ah, Ted, How We Missed You...

During our recent sabbatical from blogging ( "yeah, 'sabbatical', that's it..." * looks shifty * ), we were vaguely aware of some foofera going on about the amount of money owed to, and collected by, the Alberta government from the oil companies for the rights to drill in the province. To make a long story quite short, Ed Stelmach decided to raise the royalty rates, eventually, but not by as much as he'd been told to. Even this modest increase (and the promise to actually collect the money this time), displeased some people. As exhibit A, we present Ted Byfield crying out that the bolsheviks are at the door:

Shades of Tommy Douglas!
Alberta has basked in prosperity until Honest Ed came along and changed the rules
By TED BYFIELD

How many Albertans, you wonder, are conscious of the sharp change in direction Ed Stelmach has made in our government.

No, I don't, particularly.

He has done something not one of his five predecessor premiers ever attempted.

He has turned Albertans against the industry that has made them prosper and has made their province great.

No, this is not what Stelmach did. All he did was ask the oil companies to pay a little bit more than they already do for the right to get stinkin' rich off Alberta's resources.

How else can you interpret his new royalty regime, imposed without negotiation on the province's central economic engine?

Um, about that "without negotiation" thing? You may have missed the bit about the group together by Stelmach go over the royalty issue and negotiate some solutions to it, a group that, in Sam Spanglet, included at least one guy directly employed by the oil industry. Anyway, it was in all the papers.

If you believe the polls, he has persuaded Albertans the oil and gas producers are robbing them blind and that he, Ed Stelmach, will defend them.

Actually, not so much. While he did persuade a lot of us that the oil and gas companies were making out like bandits, the jury's still out on whether his measures will in fact defend us from this.

Shades of Tommy Douglas!

And Ted kicks it old school, going with a vintage bit of red-scaring!

Ironically, it was exactly 60 years ago that Imperial Oil, after drilling more than 100 dry wells, finally found a major oil pool near Leduc.

It is said the discovery rig had been moved into Alberta from Saskatchewan.

By whom is this said? Cite sources, please, sir!

There, the renowned Premier T.C. "Tommy" Douglas, Canada's first socialist head of state, had declared he would defend his people against exploitation by "Big Oil."

He would never allow the vicious multi-nationals to reap their customary "huge profits" out of Saskatchewan.

Well, he was certainly as good as his word.

Yeah, that evil communist bastard, rigging the geology so that Saskatchewan possesses "approximately a quarter of the ultimately recoverable conventional oil resources, and less than 5% of ultimately recoverable natural gas resources" in the Western Canada Sedimentary Basin (go read the linked article on the oil and gas industry in Saskatchewan. It's very interesting). The history of the oil industry in Saskatchewan is roughly akin to said history in Alberta, except with less oil. This is because there is actually less fucking oil in Saskatchewan, not because of Lenin.

Anyway, Ted blathers on, like the craven twit that he is, about the dangers of Saskatchewan-style socialism and angering the oil companies for awhile. I'll spare you all that, and jump to his final pronouncement:

There goes our carefully nurtured reputation for stability and dependability.

Actually, and only if Stelmach actually has the guts to follow through on the royalty increases (and collect them), there goes our reputation for being patsies.

Introducing...

...The Wildrose Party of Alberta. This being the latest attempt to overthrow the Conservatives from the right, it follows in the footsteps of trillions of predecessors. It's also Link Byfield's latest attempt to get people to entrust him and his bile duct with actual power, his attempt to force his way into the Canadian Senate having gone sadly awry. The Wildrose Party isn't quite as rabid as the Alberta Alliance, and they may steal a vote or two from Ed Stelmach's mob, but they're not likely to have much impact, at least not this time out.

This did not stop them, however, from getting together not long ago and forcing out a big steaming pile of policy. Let's review the highlights, shall we!

1. Provincial savings must benefit all Albertans

Also, water wet.

4. Provincial Transportation Strategy
Be it resolved, that a Wildrose Party of Alberta government will develop a provincial transportation strategy, including the construction of a twinned highway to Fort McMurray.

For "including", read "namely".

14. An Arterial Freeway for Alberta
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party will support a central arterial “freeway” to be created utilizing existing infrastructure.

In other words, they're not going to tear up Highway 2.

17. Alberta Provincial Police
Be it resolved, that Alberta maintain its own provincial police force.

The annoying thing about this policy, which is proudly spewed out by every right-wing party in the province, is that it is not based on any notion of improving policing in the province (nor is there any evidence that it would do so). It's just a sort of limp "fuck you" to the rest of Canada.

22. Temporary Speed Reduction Zones
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party supports an amendment to all temporary speed reductions throughout Alberta to be in effect, only when people are present.

Grammar alert!! Grammar alert!! Anyhoo, as far as I can tell, the Wildrose party wants you to be able to drive as fast as you want, provided that you're not actually in your vehicle.

24. Legal Resident’s Registry
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party supports the creation of a Legal Residents Registry, which would include the name of every legal Alberta resident, and that no individual would be entitled to any services of the Government of Alberta unless they are registered, which would include but not be limited to, drivers licenses, health care, financial assistance, “prosperity bonuses”, education, child care, etc.

Ok, I take back what I said about them not being as rabid as the Albert Alliance. These folks are batshit insane fascists.

25. Police Officers on the Street
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party supports the hiring of more police officers to enforce the existing laws, while reviewing and setting limits on the amount of management and overhead in the law enforcement community.

Great! More policemen, fewer ways of keeping them from running amok, and fewer ways of getting them whatever help they might need!

27. Embrace subsidiarity
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party is committed to the principle of subsidiarity: that no level of government should make decisions regarding any matter which can be dealt with as well or better by a subsidiary level, including informal levels.

Swell! Government by informal agreement! Sounds awesome!

38. Primacy of Speech, Religion, and Association
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party, in all matters affecting civil rights, will affirm the primacy of the traditional freedoms of speech, religion and association.

Including the freedom of a religion to solemnize marriage between two people of the same gender? I'm kinda doubtin' it...

41. Same-sex marriage
Be it resolved, that Wildrose Party of Alberta government would amend the Alberta Marriage Act as follows:

(1) No person shall
(a) issue a marriage licence for, or
(b) solemnize the marriage of a union other than that of a man and a woman, and

(2) This section operates notwithstanding
(a) the provisions of sections 2 and 7 to 15 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms; and
(b) the Alberta Bill of Rights.

Point for me!!

45 a. Provincial Review of Climate cience
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party of Alberta establish a Provincial Royal Commission to study the science of global warming.

45b. Provincial Review of Climate Science
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party support a provincial government review, informed by scientists of accepted credentials, to examine how to mitigate the anticipated effects of climate change in Alberta.

Hmmm, I wonder what conclusions the Wildrose Party's handpicked Royal Commission would come to... * ponders *

46. Liability for Malicious Environmental Lawsuits
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party supports legislation that would allow claimants to seek compensation from members of environmental groups where it has been proven harm was caused malicious or deliberate misstatements, or physical harm.

I heartily approve of this measure, since it raises the real possibility of events akin to this occurring.

47. Climate science balance in Alberta schools
Be it resolved, that the Wild Rose Party will ensure a balanced approach if the climate change debate is to be taught in Alberta schools.

What about evolution? Huh? Huh?

54. Alberta identity
Be it resolved, that the Wildrose Party will recognize that Canadians in the province of Alberta are first and foremost Albertans, with combined ethnic backgrounds that form a uniquely distinct Alberta culture.

I will never be "first and foremost" an Albertan.

55. Demography
Be it resolved, that a Wildrose Party of Alberta government would petition the federal government to grant Alberta the ability to determine the demographical composition of all immigrants entering Alberta.

I.e., brown people need not apply, particularly if they're, you know, Muslim-y.

58. Expand the “Family Class”
Be it resolved, that a Wildrose Party of Alberta government would expand the “Family Class” of immigrants allowed into Alberta to include all immediate family, including parents, children of any age, and siblings of Canadian citizens.

This is actually a good idea! * golf clap *

60. Teach basic knowledge of law in high school
Be it resolved, that the high school curricula in Alberta be required to include as mandatory subjects, basic criminal law, family law, and contract law.

* golf clap *

61. Reducing educational overhead
Be it resolved that the Province develop a plan to reduce class sizes by getting teachers out of central office and back in the classroom.

The teachers are in the fucking classrooms, working their asses off, you shitheads. Try supporting them instead of stepping all over them.

63. Objectivity in teaching
Be it resolved that Alberta Education policy include rigorous observance of the principle of pedagogical objectivity in all academic disciplines and at all grade levels.

"Objectivity," of course, to be determined by the Wildrose Party.

And so on and so forth. For some reason, I'm now rather glad that the Wildrose Party is unlikely to amount to much...

Well, That Was A Stupid Thing To Say...

From a Mr. Craig Chandler, aspiring Conservative MLA for Calgary something-or-other:

"Alberta is growing in a way that was never expected and many of the people coming here do not truly appreciate Alberta or even understand the history of this province or the relationship with the Alberta Progressive Conservative party. To those of you who have come to our great land from out of province, you need to remember that you came to our home and we vote conservative. You came here to enjoy our economy, our natural beauty and more. This is our home and ... If you wish to live here, you must adapt to our rules and our voting patterns or leave. Conservatism is our culture. Do not destroy what we have created."

Much has been written on this piece of anti-democratic drivel already, and by clicking on the text itself, you can peruse a pretty good column by Rick Bell of the Calgary Sun(!) on the subject. However, I did feel the need to investigate a bit further to find out precisely who this Craig Chandler person is. Therefore, I donned my trusty pith helmet and monocle, I set off to the homepage of the Committee to Elect Craig Chandler, where I encountered a video of Craig Chandler announcing his candidacy, with a sterling endorsement from Paul Jackson, all set to bizarre synth-pop. The video goes on from there, but I don't know what happens, since I had ripped my headphones off and was jumping up and down on them.

Next stop: Chandler's policy page, jauntily titled "Putting Alberta First." That in itself should tell you all you need to know here. And yes, it turns out to be fairly boilerplate stuff; the usual blend of miserliness, xeno- and homophobia, and union-busting that characterizes the modern Alberta conservative. It's probably a little to the right of where the provincial Progressive Conservatives are at this moment, but that's ok; there'll be plenty of time for Chandler to roll over and let Ed Stelmach rub his belly should he get nominated.

And so we must, in the end, Judge Craig Chandler By The Company He Keeps. By which I mean his endorsement page. And whadda we find there? Well, I've already mentioned Paul Jackson. However, Chandler also receives glowing tributes from Rob "Nelson Mandela is a terrorist" Anders, and, best of all, Link Byfield. Why "best of all?" Well, Link has recently set himself up as the Executive Director of the Wildrose Party of Alberta, the latest collection of folks seeking to rid Alberta of the PCs from the right. I'm sure it comes as a great comfort to the Wildrose Party's backers to see their ED endorsing somebody who's running for a different fucking party (oops, this blog's even more R-rated now...). Anyway, more on Link's new bunch tomorrow.

So, conclusions? Well, the only one I can come up with right now is that Craig Chandler's quote on newcomers' voting rights is entirely indicative of his personality and political beliefs, and ought to be used to beat him and the rest of the PCs over the heads come next provincial election.

Lame Moments in Sports #16

So long, farewell
Final Lynx game means end of Triple-A ball in Canada
Posted: Monday September 3, 2007 4:42PM;

OTTAWA (AP) -- The Ottawa Lynx played their final game Monday, joining in the funereal footsteps of ballclubs that once played in Calgary, Vancouver, Winnipeg and Edmonton.

The Triple-A affiliate for the Philadelphia Phillies finished up with an 8-5 loss to the Syracuse Chiefs at nearly filled Lynx Stadium. Next year the team will move to a new home in Allentown, Pa., leaving the Toronto Blue Jays as the sole Canadian baseball team above Single-A ball.

This has been inevitable for the better part of five years now, but it's still rather sad. One hopes someday to see the trend reversed, but it ain't gonna be soon (and it's going to be never if the Canadian clubs in the Northern League don't start pulling in bigger numbers - Edmonton Crackercats, I'm looking at you).

Home Again

Well, I am back (logging on to gloat about Conrad Black doesn't count, pleasurable though it is). And, as usual, I take a certain amount of comfort in seeing that some things around the old homestead never change. Ted Byfield, for example.

Mounties made big miss-take
You cannot have a police force without a code of rules -- most of them unwritten
By TED BYFIELD

Now, I confess, when I saw that headline, my first thought was "I don't know what the deal is with 'miss-take', but there is no way that Ted has written a column the RCMP's recent difficulties on the existence of female police officers in its ranks. Not even Ted is that divorced from reality. Link, maybe, but not Ted." Ooh, how wrong I was, as we're about to see:

I was talking last week to a veteran Mountie, retired from the RCMP now for more than 30 years, after a career that was at least that long and took him to the rank, I believe, of inspector, though I'm not sure about that.

Ok, beginning a column with an admission that you don't know who you were talking to. That's some interesting rhetorical technique, there.

"What," I asked "has gone wrong? Why is it that an institution, which for well over a century managed to operate with scarcely a blemish on its record, now encounters problems at every turn.

Discipline problems, training problems, money control problems -- so much so that a civilian has been called in to take them over."

"Scarcely a blemish", hmmmm? Well, I suppose, if you don't count the strike-breaking. Or the other strike-breaking. Or the Regina Riot. Or the getting infiltrated by Soviet spies. Or the barn-burning. Or rather a lot of other things.


Warning: The history of your police force may differ somewhat from the illustration.

"Too long," he said. "I've been far too long away from them to make any worthwhile observations."

I knew he would say this and it may be largely true. But perhaps not entirely.

"Well did you see any changes even in your day that could have led to the problems we have today?"

He was slow to answer me, but I knew he wanted to say something, but was hesitant to do so.

Don't be a tease, Ted.

"Come on, out with it," I said.

That's better.

"Don't misunderstand me," he said at last, "but I think it started with the women. I think when we took women into the force, that began a major change. And that change has led to what we have today.

"You don't mean to say," I said, "that women caused all the problems that the Mounties are now confronted with.?"

"No, no, not at all," he said. "Women make very good officers, much better in some ways than men."

"Then how did they start the problem?

What you've really got to love here is how Ted "gutless little puke" Byfield is setting up this anonymous and potentially imaginary RCMP veteran to take the fall for him. I also enjoyed a good chuckle at Ted's faked astonishment and horror over the officer's pronouncement; this from a man who's made a career out of misogyny. Anyway, onwards...

He then explained that up until women began to appear in the Mountie uniform, the RCMP was very much like a military unit. It had a kind of regimental discipline. A code.

Some of it was spelled out. Some of it was just assumed.

You just knew what you were supposed to do, and if you didn't do it you were out. And there were some things you were not supposed to do, and if you did them you were out even faster.

Union-busting and spying on people who disagreed with the government, for example, were very much in the "to-do" pile.

There were written rules, of course. But these were mostly unwritten rules, and they governed conduct from the lowest ranks to the very top.

It was at the top, he said, where the rules were less specific, but they were there none the less. And it is at the top where the greatest dangers to the force always lie.

I thought the greatest danger to the force was women, Ted. Try to stay focused, here.

It had to do with the relations between the police and the government, a very delicate area. The force was responsible to the government. Canada is a democracy and it had to be. An absolutely independent police force would be an impediment to democracy, and all over the world all through history, police forces and military forces have become so independent they have taken over governments.

But on the other side, they had to be ready to enforce the law, when the government itself, or people in the government broke it.

So there was a fine line which the commissioners of his day, he said, well understood and toed it.

Then what happened?

Anyway, when the women came, everything changed.

Read that line out loud to yourself, and see if you don't fall over laughing. It sounds like the tagline from a 1950s-era B-movie.

A police force of men, and a police force of men and women, are not the same thing.

Well, I gotta admit, that statement is 100% true. * Bangs head on desk *

What you can say, what you can do, how you behave and where, all this must change.

Yup, no more farting in the squad room for you, Mr. 1970s-vintage RCMP Officer!

And these changes quickly meant that the rules must change too.

But change to what, exactly?

"Even in my day," he said, "no one was altogether sure. The effect of the women was to destabilize the rules, and already a kind of basic uncertainty began to become evident among us all."

Then they were pretty fucking stupid rules, weren't they.

He was not saying, he stressed, that there should be no women in the Mounties.

Oh, fuck off. First of all, let's drop the charade about your mysterious informant shall we Ted? This is you, Ted Byfield, putting forth your, Ted Byfield's, opinion. Secondly, quit trying to cover your ass; everybody, including your idiot fellow-travellers, understands that what you are trying to say is precisely that women should not be RCMP officers, because apparently the arrival of women on the force caused the RCMP to mismanage its pension fund 30 years later. Which is ridiculous, a fact that ought to surprise nobody.

But you cannot have a police force without a code of rules, most of them unwritten, and you cannot invent a new code overnight.

It must be the product of experience. It takes years and years to develop a new code. And during this transitional period, all sorts of things will go wrong.

And that, he figures, is what's gone wrong in the Mounties.

And a great many other things in society, you come to think about it.

We need a new set of rules and we don't have them.

Oh, fuck off again. We do have a new set of rules, including the one that says that women can be police officers. You just don't like them.

Anyway, for a much better and funnier look at this particular masterpiece of Ted's, go here.

Sometimes, The Good Guys Win

Conrad Black guilty of obstruction and mail fraud
3 former Hollinger International associates convicted of mail fraud
Last Updated: Friday, July 13, 2007 | 12:36 PM ET
CBC News

Former media baron Conrad Black has been found guilty of obstruction of justice and three counts of mail fraud, a Chicago courtroom was told Friday morning on the 12th day of deliberations.

I Wasn't Sleeping, I Was Just Resting My Eyes

...for a month or so. Anyway, I'm back, at least for a week until I head overseas again. In the meantime, here's a shorter:

Shorter Paul Jackson: "Anyone who criticizes the Tories for any reason is a Liberal stooge. Oh yeah, and Jason Kenney is teh r0xx0rs."

Kyle Young Revisited

I used to blog about Kyle Young a lot. It was a terrible case - a troubled young man, 16 years old, who died falling down an elevator shaft at the Edmonton Law Courts building, after having been pushed against the elevator doors by two (count 'em) jail guards. This happened, incidentally, when he was shackled so that he couldn't raise his hands above his waist. Anyway, the incident triggered shock and horror among decent people, and a fatality inquiry whose final report is here.

Sadly but not surprisingly, it also triggered a minor outburst of that "Rrrr, he had it comin', hang 'em high, darn bleedin'-hearts" sort of masturbation that occurs around here whenever an incident like that happens. Said minor outburst is apparently not over yet. Earlier today, I was politely informed in the comments sections to a couple of posts on Kyle Young that I am a "fuckin' stoner" and an "idiot", and that the whole thing was "entirely Kyle Young’s fault, end of story."

The fatality inquiry concluded that procedures had not been followed in number of different areas (ya don't say), and also included this little tid-bit about the training of guards (warning: the link's a PDF):

Mr. Bertsch testified that to his knowledge there is no jurisdiction in Canada that provides specific training with respect to the handling of prisoners in the Youth Criminal Justice system. In this regard, I note that the National Union of Correctional Officers and Youth Facility Workers working session report, Ottawa, September 22nd and 23rd, 2005 which may be found at www.nupge.ca/publications, makes specific reference to training with respect to handling of youth prisoners. It is of interest to note that Alberta appears not to be part of that National Union, or at least did not attend that session. It would appear that there are training programs with respect to handling of youth prisoners.

Yes, it would appear so, and it would appear that Alberta was sitting them out at the time of Kyle Young's death (hilariously, I made a snarky comment in one of my earlier posts on the subject about the guards being "presumable trained" - joke's on me, I suppose). Now, credit where credit is due, that barn door has been slammed firmly shut, despite the alarming lack of horses within, and that's largely due to the findings of the Kyle Young inquiry. So, perhaps we should edit "entirely Kyle Young’s fault, end of story" to read "entirely Kyle Young's fault, except in the multitude of areas where it wasn't, in fact, Kyle Young's fault in any way, shape, or form, but rather the result of what amounted to pretty much a system-wide clusterfuck, end of story." Of course, if we did that, we'd be depriving certain people of their god-given right to gloat over the deaths of children.

Finally, for dessert, we have a wee quiz:

Question: Where is the computer located upon which our esteemed correspondent, "Reeltyme123", posted his/her/its insightful comments?

A) A three-masted schooner ship, sailing the seas in search of the lost continent of Atlantis.
B) My imagination.
C) Mordor.
D) Alberta Justice.

If you picked "D", give yourself an extra scoop of ice cream.