Saturday, October 29, 2005
New member joins ranks of great fantasy authors...
And when we say "member," you know what we mean! Following up on something we spotted at World O'Crap, we present The Shorter David Horowitz: "The French, Saddam, the Cia, the american left, Kerry & Edwards, the Wilson family, old Uncle Tom Cobbley and all got together and came up with a fiendish plot to discredit the Boy King...for some reason or other. And Scooter Libby is a hero, I tell you! And the duty of every American is to fight covert wars in the media." I'm not shitting you, he actually says all of that, including the bit about fighting covert wars in the media. Folks, that's not a conspiracy theory, it's a mass-market paperback thriller by a bad Robert Ludlum imitator (tautology, we know), and it probably has the name of a Greek letter in the title... (with apologies to Terry Pratchett).
Thursday, October 27, 2005
This takes me back...
I remember back in the halcyon days of the late 1990s (and the early months of the whatever-you-call-the-first-decade-of-a-centuries), when slapping back against the outrages of globalization was, well, all the rage. We had all read Naomi Klein et al., and kept ourselves busy and amused by fucking with bathroom ads and pulling off run-through pamphletings of Starbucks. In Seattle, Quebec City, and Genoa people took to the streets defiantly, and actual literal battles were fought over the spread of mega-corporations, branding, and the like. It was good times, and actually, even looking back on it, it was useful, and it was right.
However, along came September 11th, and all of a sudden all this went away. At first, we were all too depressed and worried, and then, when life began to return to normal (which was, in fact, after a relatively brief period of time) we found out that the right wing, in its slobbering terror, had skewed the debate so much that dissent was suddenly the equivalent of treason. Anyway, to cut a long story short, there is evidence that the worm has begun to turn. And, as an example of such evidence, I present this website. Check it out, enjoy the pictures, and reflect on the fact that it actually feels good to talk about "culture jamming" again.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Paul Jackson's quest for romance is apparently going well...
Conservative leader Stephen Harper didn’t seem at all the harried leader of a dysfunctional political party (as the Lib-Left media in Eastern Canada tries to paint him) when we had coffee together this past week.
Not only did he look calm and cool—he looked like a winner.
Paul, you dirty devil - a coffee date and everything! That snipping sound you hear is Tony Blair cutting you out of the photographs of the two of you in the park. And over there we have Paul Cellucci sobbing into his pillow while writing nasty things about Stephen Harper in his My Little Pony diary.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Unfortunately, due to the presence of enemy fighters in the region, the brave souls of Oi! Thump! have had to maintain radio silence this week. Studying for midterms, preparing a lecture on St. Augustine, and marking term papers had nothing whatsoever to do with it. It has of course meant that we've missed out a bit on our coverage of the province-wide labour uprising in B.C., but we have been keeping an eye on things, and will be writing more very soon. We promise.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Friday, October 14, 2005
So, the B.C. Teacher's Union is on strike. Illegally. Personally, I couldn't be prouder of them, nor of the other trade unions in B.C. who have threatened a general strike in support. However, the fact is that the B.C. teachers are acting illegally, and have been duly punished for it. However, the facts that a) the teachers have dared to strike at all (da noiv!) and b) that they have not all been summarily executed for this heinous crime, have caused much pants-wetting chez the usual suspects:
I predicted “peanuts” would be the ruling, earlier. I was wrong. The judge issued roses and bon-bons instead. I overestimated the ability of the liberals, once again, to simply dispense justice without bias and to maintain law and order in our country.
That’s right. Nothing. No fine. No jail time.
Do you get the impression from this that the PTBC types had actually organized a "Watch The Teachers Get Slammed In Court" Party (despite ludicrous claims of prescience), only to have the judge pull the rug out from under their feet, leaving sitting glumly around a bowl of stale nachos and half a case of Diet No-Name Brand Cola? I sure do.
Instead, the liberal judge who was appointed to the bench by liberals, wagged a finger (scratch that—I was guessing but I reconsidered. I’m thinking it was more of a wink and a hug) at the unionists and told the radical left-wing teachers’ union ("party") that they should stop paying their members their strike pay for 30 days. Strike pay was $50 per day, which was coming out of their huge, multi-million-dollar strike fund.
What's interesting here is that our hero keeps following the words "teachers' union" with the word "party" in brackets (check his site for further examples). He thereby cunningly makes the astute political observation that, um, the, uh, teachers' union, um, errr, ah... Anyhoo, the $50/day strike pay that the teachers are losing works out to about $1500/month ($1100 or so if they're not counting weekends), and, on a teacher's salary, that's a big hit. And therein lies the problem. If provinces actually started paying their teachers a living fucking wage, and started treating with the contempt they deserve the jackasses who whine on about how teachers "are overpaid," and "only work ten months a year," and all that other shit, maybe the teachers wouldn't actually need to go on illegal strikes in order to get their point across. And then these idiot anti-union conservatives wouldn't have to spend as much time actually looking after their own drooling, knuckle-dragging offspring, and hey, EVERYBODY would be a fucking winner. But no, instead we get thinly disguised bloodlust directed against anyone who tries to stand up for themselves. It is to weep.
That’ll learn ’em! (The teachers, and the kids, as well as all the people.)
Oh and remember .... vote liberal.
Well, that was incoherent. Was that supposed to be sarcasm? Anyway, it occurs to me at this point that the only group of working people treated more like shit than the teachers are the nurses. Swell. The people who teach our children, and the people who save our lives get to put up with being shat on for the crime of trying to earn a comfortable wage by (semi-)human fucking scumbags of the sort that drag their hideous bloated carcasses around the messageboards at PTBC and Conservative Life. What a great world.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Tragedy at Conservative Life - Vacation Ruined!
The horror, the horror...
We've gone skiing at Whistler BC several times recently. It's the best ski resort in the world, but last year the anti-Bush anti-American sentiment amongst Canadians put a damper on things.
Awwww. Diddums gettums feewings hurt? Yeesh. We could all understand your sentiments if, say, you we're brutally beaten by Carolyn Parrish, but what happened here is that some guy (or possibly, gasp, a woman!!!1!!), disagreed with our vacationer on some point of politics, and this disagreement has been inflated into anti-Americanism, socialism, Marxism, and probably homosexuality.
We're considering where to go this year for a ski holiday. Whistler is an awesome resort, but by spending my money there, am I supporting the leftist Canuckistan government and their policies?
Are you Bill O'Reilly in disguise? I mean, I'm going to go waaaaaay out on a limb here, and gently suggest that your presence and/or absence will generally have very little effect on the overall economic health of Whistler, B.C. or Canada. Especially because we all know you don't tip, you cheap bastard.
So, should we go back to Canada?
Stay in the US?
Go to Austria? Italy? (Switzerland and France our OUT of the question.)
Ok, you're a conservative, so we all understand why you break out in a rash at any mention of France, but what the hell did Switzerland ever do to you? And I would suggest that Austria sounds ideal for you, as long as you can find a time machine to take you back to 1938:
Fortunately, the Good Samaritans at Conservative Life are on hand to help this troubled soul out of his difficulties. First, a certain Vin suggests:
I will suggest that if this is how you were treated, then they do not deserve your business/money. When the U.S. tourist dollar starts drying up, they'll start to remember proper etiquette and respect.
Oh yeah, the day when obnoxious wankers who don't tip (but do burst into tears every time somebody criticizes President Shrub) stop coming to Canada is going to be a black one indeed!
Then, "ol' goat" intelligently follows up to Vin's suggestion:
Good point Officer Vin.
The military fetish that these guys have is by turns repellent and hilarious, given that not one of them has ever been close to an actual war (masturbating while watching Iron Eagle doesn't count).
And back to Vin, as the fellating gets truly under way!!!:
Thank you sir, from you, that means alot.
Get a room!
Friday, October 07, 2005
United States Senate takes Georgie's toy away
Bush will veto anti-torture law after Senate revolt
By Francis Harris in Washington
The Bush administration pledged yesterday to veto legislation banning the torture of prisoners by US troops after an overwhelming and almost unprecedented revolt by loyalist congressmen.
Well this is all very fun. It seems that Arizona Senator John McCain, who has actual experience of being, you know, tortured, decided that enough was enough, and that his country didn't really need any more of this. So, he attached this amendment to an appropriations bill designed to pull together some money for the armed forces. The amendment passed, easily, and so did the bill itself. This put George in a bit of a quandary, since vetoing it would mean saying "no" to whole pot of cash that the military apparently needs really badly. So, what to do? Does George keep his right to have dark-skinned foreigners tortured? Or does he take steps to see that the soldiers fighting and dying for their country are better protected? Hmmm. Torture brown people, or save American lives? Well, go back and read the first paragraph again, and you'll see which way Shrub went. Somehow, we're not surprised.
It was a real bad day for George in other ways, as well.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Let's check in with the folks at Proud To Be Canadian, shall we? This is the site, of course, which flaunts its Canadian patriotism by running columns by Ann Coulter, Rebecca Hagelin, Mike Adams, Jennifer Morse, Doug Giles, Steven Milloy, and other exciting non-Canadians. As far as actual Canadian content is concerned (ooh, alliteration), well, they've got Paul Jackson. Anyway, let's see what Paul's up to today:
British Prime Minister Tony Blair is arguably the most attractive, visionary and courageous politician in the democratic world.
Ok, let's not. At least he's not gushing about Bush in this one. Oh, and here's another one:
Paul Cellucci, former Republican governor of Massachusetts and more recently American ambassador to Canada, is the kind of American who does inspire awe. He’s a photogenic, erudite, William F. Buckley-type, and a man of quiet charm.
Tony Blair's getting jealous!!! And Paul's more homophobic colleagues are starting to ostracize him during coffee break.
We'll be back another time to check out PtbC's exciting array of guest columnists!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Sports Break at Oi! Thump!
...but don't let that deceive you into thinking we're going to be nice all of a sudden. Not on your life! However, before we start with the bashing, we're going to note that this is an historic post for the Oi! Thump! elite blogetteers, for with this post we surpass the total posts for our previous attempt at blogging. A quick look at the old girl shows that the Oi! Thumpers! were considerably more obsessed with sports in them days, although we still didn't like Bob Wasylyshen.
Anyhoo, we're going to resurrect an old tradition from them days, to wit, the Lame Moments in Sports series. Expect them to be regularly irregular. And now, onto the snark!
Lame Moments in Sports #12: The Existence of Skip Bayless
Meet Skip Bayless, proud ESPN commentator.
Read Skip on "Supporting Your Team-mates, The Importance Of:"
"For a vicariously thrilling moment on Sunday, I was Larry Allen of the Dallas Cowboys. I was the strongest man in the National Football League, and I had my kicker by the face mask. If I ripped off his helmet and his head stayed in it, so be it."
Read Skip on "Education, Its Vital Role in Today's Society:"
"As an OU fan, I don't care if OU players are required to attend a single class, and I don't want my coach jeopardizing our chances to win because of a ridiculously strict new attendance requirement."
Read Skip on "Hyperbole, Dangers Of:"
"If possible, he's even better and worse than ever. He continues to astonish, with his bat and his mouth. At 41, Barry Bonds is again proving to be the greatest hitter and biggest jerk in baseball history."
We could go on, but I think we'll stop here and mourn the death of actual sportswriting. I mean really, the column on placekickers has got to be one of the most godawful things I read recently. Memo to Skip: IT'S OK JUST TO WRITE ABOUT THE GAMES; YOU DON'T NEED TO BE 'CONTROVERSIAL.' Trust me, nobody's standing around the water cooler at work wondering "What does Skip Bayless think about all this?"
As a final note, Bayless is not the only bad sportswriter out there, nor is he probably the worst. He just happened to catch our attention today, is all...
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Hailing Frequencies Open!
We done got ourselves a comment!!!!! In response to yesterday's incisive assessment of Ex-Chief Bob's desire to rule again, a certain Emily Santiago cryptically informed us:
Sen. Talent's speeches go online with podcasts
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Finally, something you can download to your iPod that is perfectly legal.
Find out how you can buy and sell anything, like things related to music on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like music!
And so we ask, what does Kansas City have to do with any of this? Who's Mo? And so on and so forth.
In other news, our pals over at conservative life have discovered a fetishist in their midst. Of course, after the woofing about defending his family, and "bugout locations," and using GPS to track stored ammunition, we all realize that the only thing the thread author is going to get up to in the case of serious violence towards him and his is a lot of elite-level pants-shitting. Hell, this guy probably soils himself when the milkman comes by. And that's all for now.