Thursday, October 13, 2005

Tragedy at Conservative Life - Vacation Ruined!

The horror, the horror...

We've gone skiing at Whistler BC several times recently. It's the best ski resort in the world, but last year the anti-Bush anti-American sentiment amongst Canadians put a damper on things.

Awwww. Diddums gettums feewings hurt? Yeesh. We could all understand your sentiments if, say, you we're brutally beaten by Carolyn Parrish, but what happened here is that some guy (or possibly, gasp, a woman!!!1!!), disagreed with our vacationer on some point of politics, and this disagreement has been inflated into anti-Americanism, socialism, Marxism, and probably homosexuality.

We're considering where to go this year for a ski holiday. Whistler is an awesome resort, but by spending my money there, am I supporting the leftist Canuckistan government and their policies?

Are you Bill O'Reilly in disguise? I mean, I'm going to go waaaaaay out on a limb here, and gently suggest that your presence and/or absence will generally have very little effect on the overall economic health of Whistler, B.C. or Canada. Especially because we all know you don't tip, you cheap bastard.

So, should we go back to Canada?
Stay in the US?
Go to Austria? Italy? (Switzerland and France our OUT of the question.)

Ok, you're a conservative, so we all understand why you break out in a rash at any mention of France, but what the hell did Switzerland ever do to you? And I would suggest that Austria sounds ideal for you, as long as you can find a time machine to take you back to 1938:

Fortunately, the Good Samaritans at Conservative Life are on hand to help this troubled soul out of his difficulties. First, a certain Vin suggests:

I will suggest that if this is how you were treated, then they do not deserve your business/money. When the U.S. tourist dollar starts drying up, they'll start to remember proper etiquette and respect.

Oh yeah, the day when obnoxious wankers who don't tip (but do burst into tears every time somebody criticizes President Shrub) stop coming to Canada is going to be a black one indeed!

Then, "ol' goat" intelligently follows up to Vin's suggestion:

Good point Officer Vin.

The military fetish that these guys have is by turns repellent and hilarious, given that not one of them has ever been close to an actual war (masturbating while watching Iron Eagle doesn't count).

And back to Vin, as the fellating gets truly under way!!!:

Thank you sir, from you, that means alot.

Get a room!

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