You thought we were gone, but we're back, and there are bagpipes in the punk pic...


...and a real idiot at The Rant (not that that should come as any great steaming surprise). I came across this through the gentle and excellent ministry of Sadly, No!, which is duly added to the links bar.

Do Geeks Even Need Condoms?
Frederick Meekins
August 15, 2004

Through the wonder of supermarination, the Thunderbirds used fantastic gadgets, rockets, and futuristic vehicles to rescue those in harm’s way from the most harrowing circumstances. However, there is one thing even the famed international rescue team couldn’t save and that seems to be the nation’s declining moral values.

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ooh, that's priceless...

[snip]

Throughout sci-fi and comic book history, most superheroes have been known for defending uprightness and propriety. However, a new costumed character named “Trojan Man” epitomizes and spreads what some hope will become the new American way of loose living and promiscuity by getting condoms to amorous couples in the nick of time without even first ascertaining their matrimonial status.

[snip]

Ah, so that's what he's on about. And I can certainly see his point. After all, the wretched Trojan Man helps people out WITHOUT EVEN FIRST ASCERTAINING THEIR MATRIMONIAL STATUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Terrible!!! Won't somebody think of the children?

[snip]

The purpose of placing a condom ad on mid-Saturday morning could only be to alter the values of those seeing it and ultimately those of the broader society. It’s definitely not about profit or even product placement, for how many Geeks do you know in the market for quality prophylactic?

A number of things occur to me here:

1). A fair number of the Saturday morning cartoons are merely ads for high-calibre weaponry. If such is to be preferred over condom ads, please explain why kids dying is a better thing than kids practicing safe sex.

2). By this fellow's logic, since getting hit by a car is a bad thing, it necessarily follows that kids should under no circumstances be taught anything about road safety.

3). Most of the Geeks I know are actually married...