Thursday, March 01, 2007

Oh, Goody.

Scripture-affirming Creation Museum set to open in June
Allie Martin
March 1, 2007

A state-of-the-art museum dedicated to the biblical account of creation will open this spring in Ohio. The 50,000-square-foot Creation Museum, which is located in the Greater Cincinnati area, is scheduled to open its doors on Memorial Day.

Great. Because the number-one most important thing about a museum is whether or not it's "scripture affirming." Take that, British Museum!

The Creation Museum is a project of Answers in Genesis (AiG), an apologetics ministry based in Kentucky. The new attraction will feature many educational displays, including life-size dinosaur models, fossil and mineral collections, and other live exhibits designed to teach and to proclaim the authority of biblical scripture.

Now, this is very... Excuse me, somebody wishes to say something.

"God fucking dammit! I did not, repeat did not live my entire life in the Paleozoic ooze so that some dickhead could put my cousins on display with a little plaque explaining that they hung out with Abraham. Fuck! Incidentally, this picture of me comes from this site, which you should definitely go and look at. It's a fuck of a lot more interesting than a diorama of Jesus riding a stegosaurus, that's for sure. Thanks, back to you."

No, thank you Mr. Trilobite.

Dr. Ken Ham, president of AiG, says the $27-million project will be more than just entertaining. “It’s as good as anything Disneyland or Universal Studios could do, but it’s not entertainment; it's 'edutainment,'" he insists. "It's education, using these exhibits."

As interesting as the museum itself promises to be, Ham believes it will be just as interesting to watch how it is received. "I believe it’s going to make not just an impact in the Creation world and not just an impact in North America," he says, "but an impact in Christendom. I believe it’s [going to be] a significant event in Christendom when this museum is open.”

Ah, gotta love the sweet, sweet, smell of hubris. Here's an excerpt from a future history textbook:

  • c. A.D. 33: The crucifixion of Jesus Christ
  • c. A.D. 150: The earliest known manuscript of the Bible is composed.
  • A.D. 313: The Edict of Milan is proclaimed. Christianity becomes a legal religion in the Roman Empire.
  • A.D. 1517: Martin Luther publishes his 95 Theses On the Power of Indulgences, officially kicking off the Protestant Reformation.
  • A.D. 1962-1965: The Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican, aka Vatican II.
  • A.D. 2007: The Creation Museum opens in the Greater Cincinnati area! Hey look, it's got a picture of Noah putting the unicorns on the ark!

Methinks not.

In fact, various media from around the world have already expressed avid and increasing interest in the Creation Museum, the AiG spokesman notes. However, he says, as the opening date draws closer, attacks from secularists have increased as well.

Ooh, evil secularists. They'll be legalizing Halloween next!

In talking to these secularists, Ham points out, "you realize these sort of people don’t want answers; what they want to do is publicly ridicule Christians, publicly ridicule the Bible." Whenever he is interviewed by people like that, the creation apologist says, "I’m also thinking of the people who are listening, and [I’m] trusting that God will use the answers that I give to open their hearts to the truth.”

I doubt the good Dr. Ham would like the truths that God is using his answers to open my heart to. I also doubt that that sentence was very grammatical.

Ham calls the Creation Museum a "walk through history" that will counter evolutionary natural history exhibits that turn minds against Christ and scripture. He says AiG's new, alternative "edutainment" place, opening this June, will proclaim the Bible as supreme authority in all matters of faith and practice that scripture addresses.

Use the word "edutainment" once, shame on you. Use it twice, you really are a jackass. And on that note, I'm going off to look at the Burgess Shale website some more.

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