Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Fourth Circle of the Oi! Thump! Election Guide

Where our intrepid adventurers encounter the dreaded Christian Heritage Party.

Well, not so much dreaded, as mocked. Whereas to the south of us the religious right is a potent political force, it just ain't so up here. What there is of it is generally represented by the long-suffering Christian Heritage Party, a walking argument for proportional representation. "But Oi! Thump!," you say, "wouldn't rep-by-pop mean that these numbskulls would actually get seats in parliament?" Indeed it would, gentle reader, and wouldn't you pay to see these guys spewing Question Period vitriol at whatever group they were hating on at that particular moment? It would ensure the success of left-wing legislation for years.

If this party were an animal, it would be: A chipmunk, or perhaps a chp-monk. Ok, ok, I was just leaving.

Position on environmental concerns? Oddly enough, quite strong (in a good way) on alternative energy sources.

Attitude towards our friends to the South? Depends which friends to the south we're talking about. They're working overtime during this campaign not to look like Ralph Reed North, but the connection's there.

Percent likelihood that they'll try to repeal gay marriage? 1,258,416,873.54%. If these folks didn't try to bring back the death penalty for sodomy, we'd be a bit surprised.

Is Oi! Thump! voting for them? Hmmm, lemme think....

In the on-deck circle: the Communist Party of Canada!

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