Saturday, November 19, 2005

Listen All Of Y'all It's A Sabotage

After monthys of travel by dogsled, blimp, Sopwith Camel, tramp steamer, rocket-ship, actual camel, and hansom cab, the top-notch Oi! Thump! Election Monitoring Team arrived in Canada to keep an eye on the upcoming federal election, just so that things are, you know, on the up-and-up. Of course, the fact that we live in Canada helped out, a bit. Anyway, herein begins our election coverage.

Klein to Meet with Harper Next Week
Josh Pringle
Tuesday, November 15, 2005 9:02 PM

Alberta Premier Ralph Klein says he was unfairly blamed for hurting the Conservatives in the last election.

Given that King Ralph the First deliberately sought out every opportunity to make the Conservative party look like twits (I know, not much help needed in that department), this is laying it on a bit thick. It's sort of like Julius Caesar claiming he was unfairly blamed for the Gallic Wars.

Klein says he won't duck questions on Alberta's health care reforms in order to protect the federal Conservatives in the next election.

In the 2004 election, the Liberals portrayed Alberta's health reforms as a threat to medicare.

And Ralph Klein portrayed the Liberals as oil- and money-hungry communists, slavering after Alberta's vast mountains of wealth. And the Alberta media bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Klein says the federal Liberals may use him as their health care "whipping boy" in the next campaign.

Translation: Ralph Klein begs the Liberals, on his knees, to make him their health care bitch.

Klein says he'll meet federal Tory Leader Stephen Harper next week.

Oooh, to be a fly on the wall for that one...

Stephen: "So, uh, Ralph, this time please don't do anything to irrevocably damage my political career, OK?"

Ralph: "Why not?"

Stephen: "Because we can offer you, uh, lemme see... Well, if we're in power, then you get Uh, I can give you Paul Jackson's phone number..."

No comments: