The Canadians Are Coming!!

Salvage, over at Hairy Fish Nuts has done a brilliant job poking fun at one of our home-grown wingnuts. Apparently, said wingnut has just published a book revealing how Canada is basically a big seething pot of gay, threatening to overflow onto the innocent folks to the south of us. That's right, the whole same-sex marriage movement in Canada is nothing but a horrible Soviet Canuckistani plot to corrupt the United States. I believe the operative word here is "yeesh."

Hello Again!

Well, we're back. And where were we, you ask? Buried in end-of-term stuff, we respond. However, the exams have been marked, the marks submitted, and life returns to a semblance of normal. So what did we miss? Some of the highlights, so to speak, of the last couple of weeks:

Ed Stelmach becomes premier of Alberta. The official Oi! Thump! position on this is that it could have been worse. Oh boy could it have been worse! And now we'll have the fun of watching Stelmach try to find a place for Ted Morton where he won't be able to do too much damage. Don't be surprised if Morton ends up running for the Alberta Alliance at some point in the future.

Stephane Dion became leader of the federal Liberals. Um, ok. A surprising choice, and there are questions about his electability, particularly in the West. However, once again, it could have been worse.

Parliament refused to ditch same-sex marriage. Not that they had much of a choice. Anyway, the next day, the sun amazingly rose in the East and set in the West, and has continued doing so since. Some people are still refusing to take the hint, though.

The Iraq Study Group recommended that George W. Bush do a number of highly reasonable things to rectify that situation. He will, of course, do none of them.

Rona Ambrose made a rather amusing Freudian slip. "These are the kinds of things we can show Canadians that we mean business when it comes to our environmental agenda," said Ambrose. Yes Rona, we know that your government has business, along with heavy industry, at the heart of its environmental policies.

Anyway, stay tuned for Friday Archaeology Blogging!

Breaking News: Sun Columnist Being A Twit!!

Yup, in the wake of Ted Morton's execrable attempt to revive legal gay-bashing, some people are pissed:

No compromise
By Paul Stanway

The rights and freedoms of Albertans suffered a double blow yesterday, as the opposition parties torpedoed a bill to protect the rights of those among us who don't want to be actively involved in gay marriage.

So, I guess we're all going to have to get gay married, or something?

A private member's bill sponsored by Foothills-Rocky View Tory MLA Ted Morton died as a result of the time-wasting tactics of opposition MLAs. Morton's bill would have offered some protection to those who continue to oppose gay marriage, and it forbid the punishment of anyone who refuses to officiate at a same-sex wedding.

No, it forbid the punishment of public employees, paid out of the public purse, who refused to do their goddamn jobs. Religious leaders who don't want to perform same-sex weddings, or any other wedding for that matter, don't have to as it stands now.

Anyway, Stanway blathers on at length on the theme of "We're dooooooooooomed", and I don't particularly feel like going over it at length, but I do want to say one thing about the whole issue. Ted Morton is in a no-lose situation here. Because his bill lost, he can now portray himself as the guy who stood up for rights of "normal" Albertans and was cruelly beaten down by the mean ol' opposition parties. What's sad about the whole thing is that are people out there who will fall for that shit.

Blogging Fred Phelps

I doubt that Fred Phelps needs much introduction to politically aware progressive types (which is a pity; the world will be a better place when the response to his name is universally "who?"). The only reason I bring him up today is to segue neatly into introducing the latest blog to hit our blogroll: Empires Fall. They've got an excellent piece on Phelps, with video and links and everything, and in general they're well worth a look!

Church Shopping

Notable twerp Mike S. Adams is looking for a new church! He is basing his search on exactly one criterion. Betcha can't guess what it is!

Fun Stuff From Around the Blogosphere

In which we let other people do the legwork...

Anyhoo, Hairy Fish Nuts has uncovered possibly the bestest example of anti-gay buffoonery ever. The Rev., over at The Woodshed, has been shining the light of truth on a couple of the more cockroachy members of our new government (no offense to cockroaches intended here). And, at Creekside, there's illustrated proof that we could do with a little bit of proportional representation. I mention these three blogs in particular because they have taken the plunge and linked to Oi! Thump!; I am humbly grateful, and wish to extend many thanks, albeit belatedly, to the authors.

There is excellent stuff elsewhere as well. Agitprop has left off picking on Bill O'Reilly for a moment to run a pessimistic but excellent piece by Gore Vidal. Cathie from Canada, at her eponymous blog, has delved into the murky waters of Canadian sovereignty in the Arctic. And, lastly for now, the Canadian Cynic has been bashing the gay-bashers with the big spiky club of rationality and clear thinking.

I would like to close by giving the Official Oi! Thump! Promise (Still Inadmissable In Court!!) that we will get off our lazy asses and do some of our own work here shortly. In the meantime, peace out.

Whine, Whine, Whine

I was a tad worried that the Conservative victory in the election was going to herald the death of one of my favourite literary genres: the Conservative Post-Election Whinerant (see particularly glorious example here). However, as it turns out, I had nothing to fear...

Family Advocate Pleased to See 'Man of Integrity' as Canada's New PM
By Chad Groening
January 25, 2006

(AgapePress) - A Canadian pro-family activist says while he is very pleased that the Conservatives have finally returned to power after 13 years of Liberal Party rule, he is disappointed that so many of his fellow countrymen voted for the outgoing party -- which he views as "corrupt."

Stephen Harper told thousands of supporters in Calgary that Canadians voted for change -- and that his party will take the lead in delivering that change. But the Conservatives did not win enough seats to form a majority government. As Brian Rushfeldt explains, that will mean a coalition must be struck with the Left.

"One hundred and twenty-four Conservatives cannot pass a piece of legislation without joining forces either with the block or the ND," says the co-founder and executive director of the Canada Family Action Coalition. "That concerns me -- that they're going to have to form a coalition with one of those other parties that don't have much in common with us."

Ah yes, the governing party is actually going to have to talk to people with whom it might not be in 100% agreement on everything. Terrifying. Think of the awfulness that might ensue from government by coalition! Broad ranges of opinion being put forth, moderation being the order of the day, the CFAC agenda not being put into practice, etc. It's rather easy to see why this particular little fascist is upset.

More on the gay marriage thing

Canada Court's OK of Same-Sex 'Marriage' Has Conservatives Concerned

By Chad Groening and Jenni Parker
December 10, 2004

(AgapePress) - The ruling by Canada's Supreme Court that same-sex marriage is constitutional is reverberating across North America, as liberals and conservatives across the continent react with celebration or alarm. One Canadian pro-family leader says it may take the election of a conservative government to prevent Parliament from extending marriage rights to homosexuals

Yes, well, that would do it, wouldn't it. And, since the Conservatives are pretty much standing alone on this one, with perhaps the odd Liberal in attendance, the chances of getting such an election aren't real good.

The head of the Canada Family Action Coalition says the organization will be working to mobilize citizens across Canada in an attempt to head off the liberal government's efforts to extend marriage rights to homosexuals. "We've got to rally the troops across Canada," he says, urging citizens to contact members of Parliament and tell them, "If you do not support marriage as [being between] a man and a woman, we're coming after you next election and you will be out."

These fuckers must think we live in a really great country, that this is the only issue we have to deal with. For example, this must be happening somewhere else. I certainly missed the Canada Family Action Coalition (motto: "Fucking Up Other Peoples' Families For Fun & Profit") response to it...

We're Back in Business...

Yeah, it's been a nastily busy month or so, which left the Oi! Thumpers! unable to comment on president fuckface's visit to our fair realm, on the provincial election that saw the ruling party take about 3/4 of the seats and still call it a loss, and any number of other tedious things. Anyhoo, the thing riling the right at this point in time seems to be gay marriage, which is about to become legal up here despite the whining of REAL Women, among others. REAL Women? Weren't they just a sexual fantasy of the Alberta Report crew? Why do they still exist? Are they, and the other groups like them, among those undead whose hatred of the living is so strong that they can never die?


No special rights... Support family values... Braaains...

Anyway, here's a particularly lovely example from The Daily Quisling's letter page:

RE: GAY marriage. I am glad that the issue is back before the politicians who have avoided this issue like the plague. The lawmakers need to be willing to make tough moral decisions and face the democratic heat. We as a society can redefine things however we want, but ultimately God, the Creator, holds the definition. We may redefine gravity, but we will reap the consequences of not obeying the law. We may redefine marriage, but we will reap the moral consequences.

Dr. Keith Bienert

Holy Shit! The Supreme Court of Canada can redefine gravity?!?!?!?? They can say "Hmmm, I think we'll solve the national obesity problem; today's gravity will be, oh, let's say 0.72g"?!?!?!?! Why haven't we been told? Who's been keeping this under wraps? And how did the intrepid Dr. Keith Beinert find out about it? And what the fuck does it have to do with gay marriage anyway? The people deserve to know...

Another lovely punk pic...



I present to you today an excellent column, from, of all sources, the Calgary Sun, not known for being in editorial lock-step with Oi! Thump!. In said column Mr. Bill Kaufmann says pretty much everything I've ever thought about the gay marriage issue, and he says with refreshingly sharp humour (read: sarcasm). Anyway, here it be:

Married strife
Same-sex marriage has failed to end the world as we know it
By BILL KAUFMANN -- Calgary Sun

It's now August and still we wait for the end of the world.

But surely the same-sex marriage four horsemen of the apocalypse are still on their malignant way.

Still, after mass homosexual marriages in San Francisco and Boston earlier this year and a spate of them in Canada, no pestilence has emerged, or so it seems.

People, even married heterosexuals, are still going on summer vacation and violent crime rates have still plunged.